Teshuvah: Regaining Our Passion for Truth

Teshuvah: Regaining
Our Passion for Truth

Rabbi Yehoishophot Oliver

The greatness of youth is its idealism. A resolute, unremitting, unashamed refusal to compromise one’s standards and principles, even in the face of tremendous hardship and opposition—nay, specifically in such circumstances.

There are two kinds of compromise.

1.       Externally-imposed compromise. This is when one is apparently forced into a compromise. He would never act this way otherwise, he says, but what can he do? He is left with no choice. His circumstances dictate that he lower his standards, cut corners, settle for less. Life is not a fantasy and he can’t live in the clouds. He must grow up and live in the real world, which means that sometimes he must do things that he finds objectionable for the sake of some purportedly greater cause.

2.       Self-imposed compromise. As time goes by, he starts slipping. He used to be careful to observe every single custom meticulously, even a relatively minor one, but now it seems like so many ... minutiae. Of course, he’s still frum, but it no longer seems so crucial to be so ... farfrumt (excessively religious) and farchnyokt (extreme) as it did back when he was young, headstrong, and naïve. After all, almost no one else truly lives like that their whole lives, except for a handful of social outcasts, people who never grew up. He’s matured steadily over time, and maturity means mellowing out, being more “chill,” not taking yourself so seriously, and learning to have a little fun. And if it means cutting a corner, then no harm is done. No one else cares, nor will they find out anyway. And as for Hashem? He’s all-forgiving, so He won’t mind either, surely.

Even in the first case, when the compromise was externally imposed, the person adjusts to his compromised state, and comes to feel that compromise is no big deal, and perhaps not even shameful. In any case, he learns to accept compromise as a normal part of life. And then, over the course of time, it is very likely that he will decline from the first kind of compromise to the second, G–d forbid.

When we live a life in which we are ever-cautious not to fall prey to all-too-human weakness, and persist in maintaining our personal standards courageously regardless of how others around us are acting, and the direct or indirect pressures that they may be placing upon us, then we are truly alive.

This is much more attainable when a person is physically young, because he has not yet gone out into the “real world” and had to spend all day in the company of spiritual sellouts, in external circumstances that test him, that play with his mind and wear him down until he starts to truly believe the lie that the materialistic society sells him from every direction that he has no choice but to compromise—to sin “just a little.”

But there is no such thing. You can’t sin “in moderation.” Nor can you compromise “in moderation.” No, once you start down that road, know that you’re making deals with terrorists, dancing with the devil, and inevitably “one sin brings another in its wake.”[1]

So then the relentless downward spiral—yes, the slippery slope—begins, and you go from being tainted to becoming slowly but surely corrupted. Our sages warn, “When one sins once, and again, he comes to feel as if [sin] is permissible.”[2] What he earlier recognized as a sin, he starts to view as a mere compromise, and then what he had previously viewed as a compromise becomes completely acceptable. And then he becomes even further desensitized, so that from feeling “as if it is permissible,” he comes  to feel that it is outright permissible, until it even becomes a Mitzvah! (See also here and here.)

Don’t fall into this trap.

But if you are no longer in your early twenties, chances are that you have, and that your idealism has declined (assuming you were fortunate enough to go through a stage of youthful idealism in the first place).

So now you need to uncorrupt yourself. Start with some brutal honesty. Idealism and truth-seeking always demand it, and honesty with oneself is needed first and foremost.

Stop living in denial. Admit it, you sinned. You didn’t merely “compromise” or “make mistakes” due to “circumstances beyond your control.” You’re not a passive victim, a helpless object, a leaf blown by the wind. That’s nonsense. Hashem gave you free choice. You were tested, and you failed. Yes, the test may have been very, very difficult. But so what? You’re still fully responsible for your conduct. And when you compromised, you corrupted, debased, and dehumanized yourself.

Now that’s not to say that everything you do is wrong; on the contrary, it is quite possible that most of your behavior is worthy. But that is neither here nor there. Grow up. Mitzvos don’t excuse aveiros.
Once you have truly accepted that you sinned (see here), then you can do Teshuvah, be cleansed, and change your ways. Then idealism—and its corollary, unapologetic disdain for compromise in all its ugly and insidious manifestations—can return.

Then your age no longer matters (as much). Passion for the absolute truth of the Torah of truth, and a willingness to fight for it, to sacrifice for it, to die for it and to live for it, to surrender oneself to it with every fiber of one’s being, to do everything in one’s power to live up to it and disseminate it to one and all with confidence and conviction—all these youthful feelings can then thrive again.

And when you translate this truth into your personal life, you are also able to lead and inspire others, to serve as a shining role model, a beacon of truthfulness, integrity, and joyful sacrifice for your family and community, filled with the enthusiasm and vigor of youth.

Adapted from the sicha of 13 Tammuz 5732.

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[1] Avos 4:2.
[2] Yalkut Shimoni, Vayikra 25:661.

Dedicated in honor of the birthday of my dear son, Shneur Zalman ben Atarah Arielle, on 29 Av.

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Educating for Yiddishkeit by Raising Leaders

Educating for Yiddishkeit by Raising Leaders

Rabbi Y. Oliver

We live in an age and culture in which, for better or worse, the average young person has an independent streak that makes it harder for him or her to obediently follow the example of the older generation. They feel a strong need to forge their own path, to individuate from their parents and elders. How are we to handle this phenomenon, which seems to be at odds with the fundamental goal of chinuch—passing on the timeless beliefs and practices of Torah observance to our offspring?

The Rebbe answers: Use this independent streak to raise children from the earliest years with the goal of being leaders, and encourage them to assume this role wherever and whenever possible.

In the words of the Rebbe:

... There has been a lack of attention given to educating the young generation. And even those who have been involved, wanted to educate the young generation “from above to below”—in other words, to have the youth look up to the elders, who are experienced, and learn from them. The young generation finds this unacceptable, because they want to be independent.

How, indeed, can we influence the young generation? By educating them from early childhood, and also by striving that at a later point, they too will become educators themselves. This is the way to conquer the young generation, and also the middle-aged generation.

This is one of the main purposes of yeshivos. In yeshivos, the students aren’t only taught on the individual level. Rather, the main goal is to imbue in the student the awareness that he has to influence his entire sphere of influence—at first, only a limited circle, and later on, a larger circle—to draw them close to Judaism, to the extent that they not only do they fight a defensive war, but an offensive war; i.e., they too will fight for Judaism.

This is especially prominent in Lubavitcher yeshivos. Lubavitcher yeshivos don’t just teach their students to be frum in their relationship with Hashem and with their fellow Jew. Rather, they teach the students that even while still in yeshivah, they must make use of their talents and opportunities to influence others, and serve as leaders.

Thus, a gathering to support a Chabad yeshivah entails more than supporting a particular group or movement. Everyone who joins in by donating to the yeshivah takes part in supporting Judaism overall, because the students of the yeshivah will develop into warriors for Judaism and leaders of the Jewish people—in New York, in the entire United States, and even overseas.

The students of the yeshivah are the soldiers who will go out to the front of the war for Judaism. Thus, one who supports the yeshivah and enables it to accept additional students, takes part in the war for Judaism in New York, in the United States, and in the entire world.

Adapted from Toras Menachem, Vol. 10, p. 147. Cf. Igros Kodesh, Vol. 19, p. 373.

In my own words, with a bit of explanation:

Practically speaking, in our times, raising children to be G–d-fearing means raising them to lead. Of course, parents should send their children to a proper Jewish school, make sure to provide a home atmosphere permeated with Yiddishkeit, love and fear of Hashem and His Torah, learn with each child one-on-one, and the like. Yet in addition to all these efforts, parents should actively encourage children and teenagers to exert a positive influence on their less-observant peers in an appropriate manner, make sure they take part in outreach activities (mivtzo’im) as much as possible, and imbue in their hearts the aspiration to one day assume a leadership role of some kind themselves.

In addition to the benefit for others, this focus will in itself enable the child to be proud and independent in a positive, constructive way, while at the same time remain humble before Hashem and His Torah, and protected from detrimental outside influences.

In addition to the parents’ own efforts in this direction, it is of crucial importance that they send their children to a school that shares the awareness of the crucial role that making leaders plays in educating children and youth in our time. The most suitable school and yeshivah for this purpose is a Lubavitcher one.

Moreover, it deserves to be emphasized that this instruction applies not only to children and teenagers, but also to those who are in mid-life, and whose devotion to Torah observance unfortunately leaves something to be desired. Their Torah observance can be rejuvenated and filled with new meaning and purpose by their taking an active role in activities of Jewish outreach.

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Dedicated by Reb Yisrael Meir Rafael and family.



Dedicated in the merit of a speedy release for the captives Yonasan ben Malka (Jonathan Pollard), Sholom Mordechai Halevi ben Rivka (Sholom Rubashkin), and Zeva Rochel bas Chaya (Wendy Weiner Runge).

Like what you read? The articles I write take a lot of time and effort. Please contact me to sponsor an article for (at least) $36 in honor of the birthday, wedding anniversary, or yarhtzeit of a loved one, or for a refuah shleimah or the like. Also, see here concerning the tremendous merit of supporting the dissemination of Chassidus, and the blessings that one receives for doing so.

Don't Hesitate to Take Action!

Don't Hesitate to Take Action!

Rabbi Yehoishophot Oliver

From time to time, a person may face a difficult predicament. He notices that a certain area of practice is neglected, or a breach has not been rectified, yet he hesitates to take action because he sees that respected members of the community, who may even be aware of the situation, are doing nothing. The Rebbe addresses this concern in the sicha below:

There are things about which the leaders of the generation are silent, and yet this does not always prove that nothing need be done, and that calculation and scholarly reasoning must be used to slip one’s way out of it. If one sees that he can do something, he must do it.

The fact that those greater than him say nothing may be similar to the fact that Pinchas was granted the opportunity to slay Zimri in order to become a Cohen. This was his portion that he was destined to refine, and only by doing so could he attain personal perfection. Just as everyone is designated his own portion of material wealth, and no one can encroach upon someone else’s livelihood, so is it, and all the more, in the spiritual realm, for everyone has his share in Torah.

Likkutei Sichos, Vol. 2, pp. 342-343. 

The leader of the tribe of Shimon, Zimri, committed the sin of publicly taking a Midianite woman into his tent, Kozbi, and having relations with her. This terrible, open rebellion against Hashem caused a plague to spread among the Jewish people. Pinchas was the only one to remember the law taught by Moses that “If one has relations with a gentile woman, zealots may attack him” (Sanhedrin 81b). Even Moshe himself forgot this law. When Pinchas slew Zimri and Kozbi, the plague ceased. Hashem then rewarded him by granting him and all his descendants the status of Kohanim. Rashi on Bamidbar 25:6 says that the reason Moshe forgot the law was “so that Pinchas would come and take that which was fit for him”—i.e., the reward of priestly status.

So if one observes a community leader doing nothing about a certain issue, one should not necessarily conclude that this proves that no action is necessary, or that that leader is at fault for his inaction. Regardless of whether the leader is at fault, the one who sees clearly that a certain task needs to be done for the benefit of the community, and sees that he is able to carry it out, should know that this is his personal duty, and that the reason that he noticed this problem and that he is in a position to fix it, is that in so doing he will reach his personal tikkun, the rectification of his neshamah.